Heartbreak part 1
18 months ago I fell in love, and 1 year ago I had an incredible heartbreak. It was a chance meeting, he was very cute, and a fantastic person. The infatuation became a foundation in my life, much of my life was shaped around it. I spent all my time daydreaming about our future together. I was almost shocked at my willingness to drop everything else in my life to commit to a romance. It's pretty wild how much risk I was willing to take. But I'm proud of myself for taking that risk. The love was unstable of course, I have way too much internalized homophobia, I lived in my car (not enough room for 2 people sorry) and two imperfect humans are gonna be a little unstable no matter how you cut it. Love was motivating, I had goals and dreams and wanted to be a better person. Love was fun and beautiful. Heartbreak kinda stunted that. For a long time my passive thoughts were wondering what I did wrong, wondering if he thought about me at all, and I became cynical and jaded about lov...