Postmodern Pastoral

  *Sad & self-indulgent post* I think it was my 4th week on trail. The first day I refused to leave camp until someone claimed a pair of poopy underwear in the middle of camp. Probably my first mistake. They hated that, they wanted to ignore it behind but I practice Leave No Trace, so I fought until I gave in and carried it myself. (I wrapped it in a few grocery bags lol) The boys thought I was an idiot for carrying that poopy underwear.  Two of the boys hated gay people, one of them yelled slurs at me the whole week, the other one talked loudly about how gay people are gross and can't be trusted. When one boy is sure of his homophobia, the other boys will just go along with it. And they'll encourage each other to be more bigoted and it'll just escalate. Maybe it was entertaining to them to see me hurt. Maybe they didn't want to defend me because I was an idiot. Maybe my existence was triggering to them.  The adults chose to be there, this was our job, but the pay w...

There's these programs and facilities in the United States, where you can send your teenager if they're too wildin'. The kids who get kicked out of multiple schools, sells drugs, screams and fights all the time. Kids with self-destructive behaviors, they gotta get therapy. They gotta heal from their deep hurts and stop spreading around the hurt.  There's equine therapy, adventure therapy, residential therapy, lock-down facilities, afterschool-outpatient, juvenile detention, crisis response centers, boarding schools and boot camp. But my favorite is wilderness therapy.  It's a little hippy-dippy, but I really believe in it. The kid will go to the desert with 5 to 9 other teenagers and 2 or 3 adults. After 8-12 weeks of hiking and sleeping under the stars, the kid will find confidence, self-discipline, working with others, mastery over their thoughts, trust in their parents, accountability for their actions, gratitude for modern conveniences, healthy coping mechanisms...

We're in the middle of nowhere Arizona, and I'm carrying 80 pounds of food in a canvas bag. Walked up to 7 teenage boys screaming for food. They're overjoyed to have the food and you say "now this food has got to last you a week!" And they say they know, but they don't act like they know. They throw out their lentils because they're gross, dip their dirty finger in a bag of tang powder. Then they eat the whole bag of tang like that and then they're sick. Bless their little hearts. The guides I'm replacing are exhausted. They say goodbye to the kids and the kids hug them and cry because they just had an incredible adventure. The guides gave them so much love and understanding and patience and now they have to build a new relationship with me and my coworkers. It's daunting to gain trust and get the whole band to the next food drop. Then we hike. There are no trails though, I have a map, a compass and GPS coordinates. It's between 15-25 miles...