Postmodern Pastoral

11 November 2021  I used to be pro-life. I used to think abortion access should be illegal and that getting an abortion was morally equivalent to murder. This was when I was a young teenager and abortion was a hot-button topic, as it always is. But I changed my mind, thankfully humans are capable of changing their minds. But it was not without a ton of distress, and now my views on the legality and morality of abortion seem to push some of my friends away.  I wish I could say I learned some solid logic that convinced me to be pro-choice. But my beliefs changed when I witnessed something incredible and heavy. I think the conversation around abortion should be emotional, it's stopping a beating heart, we can't be soulless. So, let me tell you a story, and please be patient with me, I might have views that are unfair or misguided or politically incorrect. I've held dead fetuses in my hand. I remember the first one I picked up from the hospital, 12 weeks gestation. Pretty much ...

 10 November 2021 In my daydreams, I think about going back to school to study religion. I really love learning about religion. I find it fascinating, beautiful, motivating and connects me to my brothers and sisters on this earth. I've read the entire KJV Bible twice, I've read the Koran and the Apocrypha, I've fasted for Ramadan, I worked in a funeral home where I was participating in religious rituals many times a week, I go to Mass often, I've performed with a worship band, one year I kept a calendar of all the Jewish holidays and learned about each one on that day, I always stop to talk to the Jehovah's Witnesses and I volunteer with a few different Christian churches. Like, I just really love western religions.  But then I saw this tweet that said "closeted gay kids in the church have to become theologians by the age of 15 because they're desperately trying to hold on." ("the church" means Mormonism in this context). So, here was this st...

 2 October 2021 Here's some films I've seen in recent memory.  Parasite. so good, watched it twice, made my coworkers go with me the 2nd time. I liked it more than they did. Highly recommend it to everyone. Brokeback Mountain. Maybe I'm bad at suspending my disbelief, but they glued sideburns on the actors faces and stuffed their shirts with pillows to make 'em look older. Otherwise pretty good. It was pretty groundbreaking when it came out so I'm grateful for it. Wished it were cuter and less sad. But I liked it. Gummo. Probably my favorite movie now. 2 teenage boys killing cats and getting milkshakes and then hiring prostitutes. Like, it's very uncomfortable to watch at times, but I think it's so cute. Honestly, it's like really cute. Promising Young Woman. Oh my gosh this movie is SO GOOD. Changed my life and stressed me out and the 2nd half is just so crazy! It's about a woman getting revenge on all the men who are total creeps at bars and partie...

 22 September 2021 It's time to air out my dirty laundry on social media. In my faith tradition, we wear religious garments everyday after we make certain promises to God in the temple, and these garments are a reminder of our promises to God. I think this is a beautiful thing, to have so much faith that your clothing reflects that. It's not a unique concept to Mormonism, like, any orthodox religion has religious clothing. Now, we shouldn't care if other mormons wear their garments, but of course we do and everybody in the church looks at what each other is wearing, trying to figure out who's wearing garments and who isn't. A year or two ago, I stopped wearing mine.  I really loved my garments and I was proud of the fact that I loved the temple. I still love the temple in many ways, but my beliefs have changed quite a bit. I also don't agree with the commandments. My beliefs just changed over time, my spiritual journey is subtle and ambiguous. There wasn't a...