Downtown Tucson Feeding the Homeless

 23 January 2022 

I'm usually ridiculously optimistic, and I don't think too hard. But today was full of cosmic irony. Feeling kinda angry. Last night me and a friend made a lot of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. It was the first time I met him and I felt like I had to have some kind of quirky activity to do together. After work today I walked around downtown, handing them out to homeless people. I kept them all in my reusable Whole Foods bag. There was something so ironic about that.


Closest to my home is Armory Park. The first guy had his head in his hands, and he was crying or upset. I said "hey want a peanut butter and jelly" And he said yeah and took it. It was kinda awkward, because I didn't have the emotional capacity to try to cheer him up, I probably sounded unfriendly, but hopefully he liked the sandwich.

Next guy was digging through the trash at the bus-stop, I accidentally startled him. I wonder if he often gets in trouble for digging through garbage.

Next 4 were all together at the downtown bus station. They all were very thankful. This guy smoking a cigarette came up to me and gave me a fist bump. We didn't exchange any words but we made intense eye contact. I think he was an employee at Iguana Cafe.

I didn't walk into the bus station, there looked to be a ton of hungry people and I didn't think I had enough sandwiches. So I skipped 'em, I feel kinda bad about that.


I walked up to these 4 people near the 4th Ave overpass and tried to hand out sandwiches. They all said no. But one of them asked me if I needed some bud. I said no. It's sometimes hard to tell if they're homeless or just drug dealers. 

The next woman was doing something with tinfoil and a spoon and was crying. When I offered her a sandwich she said "oh f*** yeah" 

Walking north I was trying to catch up with this guy, but I was intercepted by this new-age guy who wanted to give me books on meditation and wanted to meditate with me. I said sorry I wanna catch that guy and give him a sandwich. But by then it was too late, I didn't see the homeless dude again. Bummer.


These 2 cop cars drove by and I got nervous. Giving out food like I was is technically illegal, and I have been stopped by the police before for doing it. I've never been fined cuz I can flirt my way out of it usually.

This woman who was looking up at the sky and had her hands together like she was praying. I gave her a sandwich too. 

I ran into the same man I gave a sandwich to this morning. Still was hanging out on 4th Ave with his grocery cart and he recognized me and gave me this big smile and thanked me for both sandwiches. 

Then I head back home and on the east side of Armory Park I manage to give away another 6 sandwiches. I still have more, but I'm scared of going to Santa Rita park at night so I'll try to hit it in the morning.


I dunno why I'm feeling cynical today. Like, I'm trying to view myself with an uncharitable bias. I'm feeling guilty because I'm exploiting the homeless for social media recognition. But like, I live my whole life on social media, if I can't brag online about it I probably wouldn't do it at all. 

I also feel guilty about being a white savior. But I also know white guilt is pointless and I'm fairly anti-white-guilt. 

I also know there's gonna be so many people who'll think I'm just encouraging homeless people to be lazy. And even though nobody's said that to me today, these abstract people are making me angry. Why am I allowing myself to get angry over something that might not even exist.

Also, there's no good way to help these people. Feeding them is not solving their problems. It only solves the problem of hunger for a moment. They'll get hungry again. 


At work today, I had to kick out this woman who was trying to steal a tent. Another horrible irony. I mean, I don't know if she needed the tent for literal shelter, or if she just wanted to steal because stealing is fun. But what if she did need that tent for shelter, and I kicked her out. Then I go downtown and give peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to people living in a tent. 

Love you all.

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