Water Bottle Dedication

 29 June 2022

I want to give my soul to some higher purpose or relationship. I've decided to be dedicated to my water bottle. I was driving from Portland to Salt Lake City, and left it at a gas station. I couldn't let it go, so I turned around and drove an extra hour and a half just for it. But it wasn't at the gas station, I tore my car apart looking for it but sadly, it was literally lost. I felt so guilty. I couldn't even be dedicated to something physical that I depend on everyday. 


36 hours later I stumbled upon it, after I made my peace with never seeing it again. I entertained the idea of divine intervention. Like, a blessing from the Creator of heaven and earth, returning my water bottle to me. I need water to live after all, God might care about that.


I know my thoughts and feelings had nothing to do with finding that water bottle though. It was just in a place I failed to look. My feelings, desires and effort had no bearing on finding it. No matter how much I hope and pray, I'm ultimately useless. I'm at the mercy of reality. The reality is my water bottle rolled under the passenger seat. 


I haven't done anything to deserve divine intervention, yet I receive blessings. Every day is a gift, all the people I love are gifts, my water bottle is a gift. Still, God's silence is hard to deal with. Do my prayers accomplish anything?


Is there a soul beneath these thirst traps? These shirtless selfies of me laying in bed are obvious cries for attention. And those silly 'like' notifications feel quantifiable and correlated with my actions. I kinda wish God were more predictable and divine intervention was more correlated with my efforts and beliefs... Actually I don't wish that. That's probably blasphemy. 


In any case, I need attention because I'm feeling very romantic lately. I'm reading poetry, playing beautiful music on my violin and spending time in nature.



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