Priscilla

 There's a film in theaters now called Priscilla. It's about the girl Elvis Presley married. Everyone should see it, it's incredible. It's poignant nowadays because there's a lot of talk and fear of grooming children. Elvis groomed a 14-year old girl, but didn't have sex with her until they were married, when she was 21. She moved in with him when she was 17 she was drugged the first day. They kissed when she was 14, and Priscilla seemed to love him despite being so young. Elvis cheated on her, doesn't really apologize but promises it won't happen again, then cheats on her again. Once in anger he threw a chair at her but it didn't hit her. Priscilla eventually divorces Elvis. The film is uncomfortable to watch, but it's also very beautiful and tender. It's also very 60s aesthetic which is awesome. It forced me to ask some questions.

When is it okay to paint Elvis as a bad guy? Do we have an actual standard for what makes a man a p*do? Who is the authority who decides when it's fair to label and treat a man as a p*do?

It was made by Sofia Coppola and Priscilla Presley. Was releasing this film an attempt to slander Elvis's name? I really don't think so. This was honoring Elvis, and forgiving him, and looking back fondly despite all the tragedy.

I want to think by not shying away from the uglier parts of Elvis we are honoring him. If we idolize him we have to turn a blind eye to his child grooming. But if we can humanize him that makes his impact on our lives so much more real and deep. Idolizing, even though it's flattering to a degree, is still dehumanizing. And the film didn't focus only on his flaws, he was just a normal guy. He liked singing and shooting guns with his bros, he gave Priscilla a very comfortable life and was excited to be a father.

I also wonder if this was Priscilla taking responsibility for encouraging Elvis to fall in love with a child. She put a lot of work into being attractive to him. She was a huge fan and was star-struck. She wanted sex with him too. There's no such thing as a perfect victim, and Elvis definitely abused the power he had. But there's something empowering about admitting your part in the unhealthy relationship. You can't say "I was perfectly innocent and he was evil," that's dishonest. If you claim you're a perfect victim you're dehumanizing yourself at that point. 

I can't know if this was one of Presley's & Coppola's intended messages. It's probably my own interpretation, because being accountable for the manipulative things I've done has been so healthy for me. 

I do not believe in separating people into "good people" or "bad people." Everyone is both good and bad. The impact I have is both good and bad on the people around me. I've been a good influence and a negative influence, even within the same interaction. One person can see me kiss another man and say I'm a bad guy, and another person can see me kiss that same man and say I'm good. 

Sofia Coppola doesn't force us to answer these moral quandaries. She just shows a courting, marriage and divorce story between Elvis and Priscilla. It's inspirational to see Priscilla Presley giving so much grace to Elvis. But it also seems so normal, like, this is the love and patience and nuance we all have for each other. 

There's so much else this film brings up, and I could talk about it for a long time. I'm interested to hear other people's reactions to the film. Comment below about what you would do if you saw a 14 year old girl dating a man 10 years older than her.

Love you all.