Ennui

You ever finally get a group of friends together to go out and have a fun dinner and see some cute city sights, and then like 2 minutes into the party you realize "wow I have no personality"

Or there's a fun guy you wanna be friends with, so you text him, "hey" and he says "hey" back, and then at that point you literally have run out of things to say. 

Or you have a day off, so you stay up late and you intend on sleeping in, but then you wake up at 6:30 am anyway and the rest of the morning you're even more tired and cranky than normal. 

You have ingredients for a salad, but it takes too long to chop them all up, so you microwave some popcorn, after a few days, your lettuce goes bad, and you hate throwing it out.

It's Thanksgiving and you take an airplane and a long car ride to go see your folks, and at home you all just fall asleep in front of the TV. 

You forgot to look at the date until you got to work and all of a sudden it's your birthday, you're 45 now, and you think about the year and how much you've grown, but you're in the exact same spot as you were last year. There was a total lack of adventure and excitement this year.

You're chatting about the weather and the roads with a guy at the bus stop and the way you pronounce "mountain" sounds like the way your Dad pronounces it, and you wonder if you're just a copy of your Dad, and if he was just a copy of his Dad. Your grandpa and your dad do act alike. The guy at the bus stop asks how your day is going, and you reply "it's going"

You're at the bar, everyone is friendly and you've made friends you wanna hang out with and they ask "so what do you wanna do?" And even if there was a gun pointed at your head, you can't think of anything.

You're stuck in line at the Burger King drive - thru for an obnoxiously long time.

You take a walk along the river, but the sun is too bright and you forgot your sunglasses, so you either have to endure the blinding light or just walk back and have to think of something else to do.

You look in the mirror after the shower and you notice your thinning hair, the wrinkles on your forehead, grey chest hairs, love handles getting bigger, receding gums, hip feels a little funny, elbows covered in scars from scratching at mosquito bites, a sun spot on your face, loose skin on your arms, nose hair is getting longer, your butt is saggy and flat. And you get dressed and hope nobody notices how much weight you've gained, and probably nobody will. 

You buy a book, and it's actually a fun and interesting book, but you only read the half of the first chapter, and you set it down on your coffee table, fully intending to continue it the next day, 3 months later it's still there, untouched.

You change the car oil, and the oil change place has the nastiest bathroom but you gotta use it, they try to upsell you on a bunch of stuff you don't understand. You don't even like your car, but it gets the job done, so you can't justify buying a nicer car, plus you are grateful you have a car. 

And sometimes when I play a silly cellphone game and I get a high score and I'm all excited and I realize I've been sitting on the couch for hours and realize, "wow I am the most boring person ever"

Love you all.